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Fat Profits

If over-consumption was an Olympic sport, Australia would be guaranteed a podium finish alongside the US and UK.  We devour so much food that the “middle aged spread” has become “primary school padding”.  We buy food that comes neatly packaged in cardboard and plastic before being presented in more layers of cardboard and plastic.  After we’ve stuffed ourselves with high processed grains and chemically treated meat, we travel to our big glossy shopping centres in our petrol hungry cars to buy whiz bang phones, plasma TV’s and cheap imported clothes — not because we need them but simply because they’re there.  Our brown botoxed bodies are lasered and lathered top to toe in chemicals we can’t pronounce and from the day we enjoy the miracle of birth we subconsciously train our little angel to behave in exactly the same way.

Ours is a gluttonous existence and the notion of moderation is routinely met with a defiant retort.  Even more alarming is that this overkill consumption is not being taken seriously by Government at policy level.  Our leaders may be facing an economic and vote buying frenzy but over-consumption is a “major” contributing factor toward climate change and it’s this bloating indulgence that’s leading us down the path of self destruction. 

At World Youth Day the Pope gave us a tongue-lashing and our holier than thou Carbon Trading Scheme simply isn’t addressing the issue.  Economic analysts have forecast that once the scheme is implemented, domestic demand for energy will remain static.  This week, one economist declared “Our research has found people will prefer to pay more rather than reduce their power use….any carbon saving will be driven by greener technology rather than a change in consumer behaviour.”  I asked him if he could bring to mind one single policy supporting reduced consumption — he’s still at his desk peering cross-eyed into space.

These outrageous consuming patterns have the big end of town rubbing their grubby hands together with glee.  Executives and corporate investors clearly recognise these destructive trends but rather than fostering environments that drive change for the benefit of us and the planet, they ruthlessly plunder the many emerging gold mines of greed. 

Advertisers exploit our insecurities, create false needs and amplify dissatisfaction leading to further consumption and it’s our children who are most vulnerable.  Marketers recognise that brand loyalties and consumer habits, formed when children are young and impressionable, will be carried through to adulthood.  From birth they’re groomed for consumption.  Mike Searles, one time president of Kids`R’Us, spouted “If you own this child at an early age… you can own this child for years to come.” 

Shopping trolleys were the original stroke of marketing genius — placing an infant at arms length of big brands.  Now, TV cross-promotion has become more sophisticated with an endless supply of merchandising opportunities and the internet is exploited as the driver of kiddie culture.  Whilst continuing to exhaust the pre-schooler and “Tween” markets, executives are now zooming in on the “Diaper Demographic”.  Scientists recently found that babies as young as 6 months have an emerging level of brand recognition.  The same study confirmed that a baby stares downward concentrating on his or her dribble for up to half an hour.  Like moths to a flame, advertisers have pounced on this air-time and now insidiously promote brands on bibs and the crotch of nappies.  Spin doctors call it “future profits” and it’s a dawn til dusk sales pitch in nurseries right across the world.

Investment banks are also in line for the gorging bonanza.  “Green” is becoming the new “Gold” and obesity is creating a rich investment bounty of its own.  Banks are creating global “think tanks”, strategically positioning themselves to take advantage of the fight against flab.  Pharmaceutical companies are at the top of the food-chain.  Diabetes and cholesterol medications are on the rise and so are company profits.  Medical equipment and technology companies are expected to boom as are healthcare services offering preventative care.  Plus-size retailers are expanding and fast food franchises are creating new profit streams by offering healthier options — and just so long as consumers can super size their salad sandwich with a giant diet coke and a slice of sustainable cake, they’ll still feel they can have it all and eat it too.

The puppeteers are pulling the strings but it’s us, the puppets, who happily dance to their jingles.  It’s “our” behaviour and “our” choices that are creating this destructive environment.  Not unlike obesity, “affluenza” is a disease.  We must swiftly reduce our consumption levels and stop sucking the life out of our earth or it will rapidly wither, taking with it any lingering “natural” beauty.  Bankers, multinationals and governments aren’t helping.  They should.  It’s their world too but it’s only through the evolution of “our” behaviour — and in turn, “their” economic reaction to our behaviour — that will help shape the environment we’re chasing our enormous tails to save.

Miscreants in the suburbs, bar brawls and cab chaos in the city.  This recent surge of odious behaviour and disregard for law and order has us going to hell in a hand basket.  Is this behaviour increasing or just increasingly being highlighted?  Are young people losing respect or don’t have respect in the first place?  Or has it got something to do with the way kids are introduced to authority?

I remember a warm April Saturday, my sister’s 16th birthday party.  My best friend and I were 10 at the time and barricaded inside our TV room by a 3 foot pile of 10 year old knitting magazines.  Tina, a freckle covered strawberry blonde, had bravely managed to whisk a goon of cheap wine away from the teens in a rare moment of distraction.  We had taken it hostage.  Our terms were simple. $5 of mixed lollies – no liquorice allsorts – delivered in an unmarked brown paper bag at 2.12pm.

Our terms were met.  But we were mini vigilantes, our very own “A-Team”, and what they didn’t realise was that we’d executed the mission, not driven by sweets (you’ve got to try these things!) but our genuine concern for the law.  You can’t imagine the teenage fury that erupted when they found out we’d already poured the offending substance down the laundry sink.  Oh yes!  A-Team 1 – Lawbreakers nil!

This strong idea of social justice was a direct result of school visits by the men in blue throughout our primary years.  Sergeant plod would come every couple of months with one or two fresh faced rookies dressed in their crisp uniforms complete with guns.  Fielding obligatory questions about how many bad guys they’d shot, they’d impress upon our young minds the importance of “Stranger Danger” and “Household Hazards”.  This followed up a few months later with a lively lesson in the playground on “Road Safety” featuring battered cardboard box cars and a visit from the lollypop lady. 

To add to our expanding knowledge of safety, law and order were visits from handsome Firemen (theirs was my favourite uniform….still is!).  With the help good ol’ corporate cross promotion, I still find myself reciting their little ditty whenever I see “Grimace” and “The Hamburgler”.  I just know one day I’m going to be stuck in a smoke filled fast food restaurant with deep fryers ablaze, confidently leading fellow customers to safety with my keen pre-prepared observation of the nearest fire exit, crawling on all fours and yelling “Get down low and GO, GO, GO”.

The point is, would kids be so hell-bent to test the patience of these fine upstanding men and women if in fact they themselves had a fundamental respect for them just as we had when we were young.  Okay, things were a little different then.  Our officers of the law had a bit more room to move.  Police had the time to humour parents who dragged their kids up to the cop shop to show them where they’d end up if they kept smoking stogies under the house.  I still shudder when I think of that grim concrete 3 by 2 metre cell.  The door was slammed shut (for added effect) as I sat on the small rock hard bed looking intensely at the cold metal dunny thinking “there’s no way on God’s green earth I can sit on that thing without a toilet seat!”.  My sister, the real offender clearly beyond redemption, stood outside the bars, pulled faces and pretended to blow love hearts at me from her imaginary cigarette.

Perhaps it’s our relationship with these authority figures when we’re young and impressionable that increases the odds of us becoming law abiding citizens.  With things going pear shaped so quickly, I’m beginning to wonder if the Government has pulled funding on these programs in favour of handing each child a laptop with free broadband access.  I just can’t see “Sergeant Willy’s Safety Education” Facebook page being all that popular.  Bring back the good old days of toe tapping tunes, catch phrases and carefully integrated intimidation tactics and all will be right with the world. 

It’s a curious thing! Melbourne biggest newspaper has advertised, in both print and on-line, what appears to be a fairly decent deal for their highly valued subscribers.  It’s only when you look a little closer when you realise that the “discount” isn’t really much chop. 

What appears to be a $5.05 discount off the RRP of $35.00 (bringing it down to $29.95) is very quickly diluted by the $4.95 postage and handling fee bringing it to a grand total of the marvellously discounted price of $34.90.  And not only that, but you get the added benefit of waiting 10 working days to receive it!

Wooohoooo! Thanks a bunch all you wonderful marketing staff at The Age.  I shall take my 10 cents and go and buy a bag of lollies (well at least 2 strawberry creams at any rate!)

The offending advertisment

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